Decision Making - A Feeling

Several decisions need to be made and the ability to make the right decision should be developed early on. People makedecisions based on logic while there are others who make it on feelings or on other parameters such as doing things that do not harm others. People think differently and therefore they make decisions differently.

There is nothing right or wrong in the approach. However when individuals tend to push their way of making decisions on others huge conflicts might develop. 

Consider the case of Nikhil (name changed for confidentiality). As the festival season came near everyone sat making the list of things they would purchase. Father and Mother both were expecting fat bonuses from work and thus lot of goodies were in store for the children. And then the day came as the family sat together and went over the wish list of every member. 

I will be buying a necklace, announced mother, and father would be stitching together a Sherwani – an ethnic suit. The younger child had a long list that included shoes, socks, Barbie doll, a hair band and the elder one had nothing. It was strange as till last year Nikhil also produced a list which went from computer games to gear cycles and a lot of push, pull sulking went on before the list got finalized for Nikhil. 

He later asked his father if the money that was kept aside for his gift can be donated to a charity. An orphanage had come up nearby, where an elderly lady had given her house for the orphanage and they were in need of funds for running it. Touched by the gesture, the family visited the orphanage the next day and gave the donation. Nikhil also requested them not to talk about it to anyone. 

The festival came and purposefully the parents did not buy anything for Nikhil, to help him in his resolve. And soon they found that Nikhil would save every bit of pocket money or gifts from relatives and donate it there. After sometime the father asked Nikhil what was the intent to which he said, to help them the best I can. The father then asked Nikhil to use all their networks and resources of family and friends and reach all out to provide sustainable help. Providing savings was a good thing to do, but it was never sufficient. If the thought was to help, then one must go all out and try to secure as much resources as possible. 

Inspired and with the backing of his family Nikhil started raising funds for the orphanage and soon was giving them enough resources to help run the monthly expenses with some surplus left over at the end as well. And the next festival Nikhil did buy a new pair of shoes and a video game console for the work he had done. 

While many make decisions that are short term, focused primarily on self, there are others who think very differently. Some need a purpose in life to marshal all capabilities, while others can do their best without any defined goal or purpose. 

When people start commenting on each other’s choices they tend to become judgmental and thereby issues start developing. In case there is a conflict in the way decisions are made between the parents and the child, over time a huge communication gap might develop. It is important for parents to understand the child’s way to make a decision, explain their approach to make the decision and thereafter arrive at what needs to be done. 

At Yancha, expert guides provide the much needed inputs to parents to carry out the behavioural development of the children. While schools focus on the academic development based on prescribed curriculum, behavioural development and building on the areas of interest of the child is best carried out by the parents. 

The fundamental reason for children to achieve far beyond expectations is the behavioural development carried out by the parents in the formative years of their development. 

At the end of it, for some individuals it is the decision that feels right while for other it’s about the one that seems logical. Only much later in time will the true outcome of the decisions become visible.