Parents – Owner or Custodian of the Child

One of the biggest puzzles the parent faces is about helping the child find the path on which to walk on. As the child’s interests keep evolving with education and exposure, it’s important to calibrate it and provide the right one at the right time.

For instance, a child expressed the desire to try out photography. An enthusiastic parent bought a DSLR camera for his child and took her for several nature treks. The child also kept taking a lot of photos and was praised endlessly in closed circles on the photographs. Parent’s further urged her to print a table top calendar and sell it on the ecommerce portal. Over 500 copies were printed and just a few sold through the portal, that too purchased by friends and relatives. With passing time the child got totally disheartened and stopped photography all together.

Over-enthusiasm of the parents killed the child’s desire as they did not let it evolve with time and quickly diverted the interest with a commercial thought process rather than letting it evolve and mature, through development of expertise.

In the absence of any guided program like Yancha, parents would choose the path of ‘least resistance’, or the ‘proven one’ – which ends up sacrificing the unique edge the child has. Such a path is defined as good school – good marks – good college – steady job and thereafter the family way starts.

This is the path of standardization and is responsible for killing many dreams and quashing many hopes. Several children who exhibited great talent are found on one of the workstations often wondering what are they doing sitting there whole day and spending time doing what they never wanted to do at the first place.

Consider the case of Rashmi (name changed for confidentiality). The only dream that she had as a child was to join the Indian Army. She never missed any Republic Day parade and would keep watching recordings. Mamma, I would lead a parade one day. And the reply would be NEVER would you join the forces. It’s a very risky job for a girl. But there are so many ladies there. It’s their wish, but not you.

Dejected but obedient Rashmi quickly realised that she has to first become independent if she wants to act on her decision. She became a doctor and after completing her course she opted to join the armed forces. She was selected. The only difference was that she would witness the Republic Day parade from the stands, never participating in it.

A desire unfulfilled and a dream that forever would remain unaccomplished.

The role of parents is to guide children so that they can choose the path that they would like to walk on. Overcautious or over anxious parents tend to think that they ‘own’ the child, rather than being the custodian of the child. The ones who think they own the child tend to force the children to walk on a path defined by them. Such parents cause severe damage to their children in the long run – emotionally.

At Yancha, expert guides provide the much needed inputs to parents to carry out the behavioural development of the children. While schools focus on the academic development based on prescribed curriculum, behavioural development and building on the areas of interest of the child is best carried out by the parents.

The fundamental reason for children to achieve far beyond expectations is the behavioural development carried out by the parents in the formative years of their development.

The guides also help parents clarify their thoughts about how to bring up their child so that they can lead a meaningful, accomplished and happy lives.